What NOT to Say to Women Fighting Infertility

What NOT to Say to Women Fighting Infertility

What NOT to Say to Women Fighting Infertility – It can be hard (and awkward for that matter) knowing what to say to a woman fighting infertility. Honestly, best case scenario, say nothing! Just give love. Everyone is fighting a battle right? And infertility is an awful, dark battle that one in eight couples fight.

I asked a few ladies in a wonderful, small, intimate facebook group I am a part of their thoughts on the matter. Here a few things that family and friends have said to them:

What NOT to say:

• It’s all in God’s timing
• Just be grateful you have one child
• Maybe you’re only meant to have one
• You shouldn’t be sad, you have a child
• Maybe this means you should take a break and focus on the one you do have
• Right now isn’t the right time, just enjoy!
• Why haven’t you guys had more kids?
• Do you really want your kids that far apart?
• Be patient
• Have you tried (fill in the blank)? It worked for my sister’s boss’s niece who couldn’t get pregnant and then all of the sudden did?
• You’ve been married -X- many years? You should have a whole passel of kids by now!
• “When you stop trying and worrying about it, it’ll happen…”
• Just simply asking when you are going to have a baby. 
• I know you want kids, but enjoy this time you have without them.
• It’s in God’s hands.
• Just relax. You’ll get pregnant. (In all honesty, this did work for me. However, nobody benefits from being told to “just relax” when dealing with infertility)
• Maybe you should just stop trying, that’s when it always happens!
• I can’t remember how it was worded exactly, but someone basically told me we were being disobedient since we didn’t have kids…..

…..So again, sometimes it’s just better to not say anything. If you can’t, or if you want to offer a little support without “giving advice”, this next paragraph is for you:

Ways to support:

One sweet girl said, “The most helpful thing was hearing “I’ve been there and it sucks. I’m here if you want to talk.” You don’t realize how many people have/are struggling until you are in the same position.” Another said, “Just don’t say ANYTHING  listen and let them vent or whatever they need then tell them you love them are praying for them and are always there for them if they need anything.” And another, “Just don’t ask about kids. If they bring it up, don’t give advice, just sympathize and tell them you love them.”

I would love to work with you! Contact me to find out more about planning a session. To read more about infertility or to see my two miracle babies, follow me on Instagram.